As part of my ongoing contact with the medical community, whose current goals seem to include finding things wrong with me, telling me not to eat the things I like and prescribing chemicals like some brave-new-world type white-coated pushers, I had to have a blood test. The nurse who was to take my blood from me was a funky young twenty something chick with numerous body piercings. She had several earrings, eyebrow ring, tongue stud, even a nose ring. These are just the piercings I could see. The mind boggles at what other body parts had been similarly treated. Is that supposed to be ironic? Is she saying "look, I've had a knitting needle right through my freaking eyebrow, surely a tiny one in your forearm is no big deal." Is she boasting of her prowess in skewering human flesh? I guess you'd never get a tattoo from someone who didn't look like a human gregorys, so this is the same sort of logic. The nose ring fascinated me, having previously only seen nose rings on bovines. You could clip a chain to it and lead her around the room, like at the easter show. I'm not judging, I'm just saying it interested me. She must be heaps of fun at parties.

I like to think so, anyway. In the dustbin of my mind.

People at work think I'm pretty good at the old computer lark - not exactly a guru, but someone who knows one end of a keyboard from the other. Considering I work at a large data centre filled with computers and computer technicians it's probably a compliment. I have to confess I messed up my computer last night.

I tried to install linux on my pc which already has win98 installed. I wanted to have a dual boot system so I could mess around in linux and still use win98 for most of the time. The first thing I had to do was repartition the primary hard drive so I had some space to install linux. So I used FDISK. And I picked the wrong option, hit enter and had to format my drive. Bummer, I thought, but no worries, I have a backup. Yes, and no. I had missed certain important files when backing up. So I've lost all my mail. And the linux install didn't install the way I wanted it to. Grrrr...

I just had to get that off my chest. Catharsis.

For the record, I am not gay. I don't know why I have to point this out, but I do. Of late a few people have assumed I was gay, which I'm not. It kind of annoys me, but not for the reasons you are probably thinking.

Imagine several people implied, assumed or straight out asked if you collect stamps. Now don't get me wrong, I don't have any reason to dislike stamps, and I don't, jolly useful things, especially if you are sending a letter. I just don't collect them. Can't see the attraction in them.

Coins, on the other hand, are a different story. I have a coin collection, but I don't have enough money to collect really nice ones, but I quite like the coins I have. Even when I was young, before I knew what coins were really for and before I had any experience with money, I quite liked coins. I didn't know why I liked them, I just did. I like most coins, silver ones are my favourites, but I like copper and gold coins as well. New coins are nice and shiny, but older coins with a patina to them are more interesting. Mmmm. Coins.

So let me state clearly that I am not a philatelist, OK? Thanks.

GOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!!

The email has zipped between the flags and I get a discount on my bill from iinet because of the problem!!!! Yeeeessss!!!

A further development!!!

24/11 - Leroy Parkinson - This is a short message to let you know
that I have read through your email and have forwarded it to Jarrad Cox.

...the email has spilled out but it's gathered nicely by Parkinson, who passes it on to - Yes! Cox! He's all over the park this afternoon.

Is it narcissistic to spend hours reading your own blog?

Further news on my iinet email

20/11 - Jarrad Cox - This is a short message to let you know
that I have read through your email and have forwarded it to the necessary department.

If this continues I could write a sports commentary on it.

Reed gets the email, he's looking to clear the goal mouth, takes a few steps before passing it on to Cox. Cox steps his man and passes it back to Reed, who's looking for an opening, yes, he finds Scacheri, who takes it nicely and then back to Cox who's moving downfield. Cox has run out of options so it's back to Scacheri, and back to Cox, and again back to Scacheri. Oooh! They're in all sorts of trouble here, but Cox gathers nicely and punts it across to Johns, who's in the clear!! Takes a bounce, yes, takes another, could be in trouble here, but no! Steps off the left foot and passes it across to Cox again! It's Cox! Cox, he takes a few steps and winds up, belts it downfield in a wobbly old punt, to be taken by, taken by...

I'll await further developments and report them here as they happen.

My ISP is iinet. I'm very happy with the service with them. You can always expect a quick response to any query you send them. Recently I sent a query regarding some speed problems I was having with my ADSL. It turns out Tel$tra had misconfigured my line - anyways it was sorted in a couple of days. But it seems my original query is still bouncing around their system.

12/11 - Cliff Reed - This is a short message to let you know
that I have read through your email and have forwarded it to the necessary department.
12/11 - Jarrad Cox - This is a short message to let you know
that I have read through your email and have forwarded it to Cliff Reed.
12/11 - Cliff Reed - This is a short message to let you know
that I have read through your email and have forwarded it to the necessary department.
17/11 - Richard Scacheri - This is a short message to let you know
that I have read through your email and have forwarded it to the necessary department.
17/11 - Jarrad Cox - This is a short message to let you know
that I have read through your email and have forwarded it to Richard Scacheri.
18/11 - Richard Scacheri - This is a short message to let you know
that I have read through your email and have forwarded it to Jarrad Cox.
18/11 - Jarrad Cox - This is a short message to let you know
that I have read through your email and have forwarded it to Helen Johns.
19/11 - Helen Johns - This is a short message to let you know
that I have read through your email and have forwarded it to Jarrad Cox.

But trust me, iinet r0x0rs!!!!!!!111 Really...

How well I remember the days when doomsayers and naysayers said (presumably apart from "doom" and "nay") that the internet spelt the end of the written word. The same prediction was made when the television, moving picture and telephone were invented (was invented?) I reckon they proclaimed the death of the written word when the printing press was invented. The written word has not died, every man and his dog has a blog, including, believe it or not, yours truly. That means me. I think I had something quite profound to write here but I'm buggered if I remember what it was now.

It is 6 AM and you are lisssssstening, to lost synapses.

Also, I am sure I am not the first person to query the domestic arrangements of the Brady Bunch. So don't tell me I am plagiarising someone else. Not only do I not care, I would probably just refer you to the work of Carl Jung.

After reading a few blogs I've worked out that when Americans say 'room mate' they really mean 'flat mate.' I think. I hope so, anyway. I haven't shared a room with someone on a semi-permanent basis since I was ten and I hate to think the housing crisis is so severe in the USA that a large proportion of generation-X has to share a room, like some episode of the Brady Bunch.
Come to think of it, the house in that show was huge. The guy was a bloody architect and the house had a den, a study, a lobby, a sunken living room, a dining room, a master bedroom with walk in wardrobe and en-suite but six adolescents had to share two bedrooms. And then one of them gets the chance to move into the attic but prefers to move back into the bedroom with his two dopey brothers. Triple bunks for Chrissakes, TRIPLE BUNKS!!!

Someone just said to me that since I seem to think I can sing, why didn't I audition to go on "Australian Idol?" I'll level with you - I regard the aforementioned program as one of the signs of the imminent collapse of civilisation, akin to having the position of Caesar auctioned off by the Pretorian Guard. Thin end of the wedge. I hear the sound of drumming hooves and I am convinced that it is the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Sign of worse things to come. I wouldn't be surprised if I read in the paper tomorrow that the Whore of Babylon riding a nine-headed griffon appeared and was declared the winner of Australian Idol, or if it is revealed that the real Australian Idol is a golden calf. Milestone on the road to hell. Sorry to get all biblical on you there but I really wanted to get my point across. Anyway, if I was going to audition for any TV show it would be (drumroll) "Australian IDLE!" Geddit?

Laugh? I nearly did.

My sister tells me she has checked out my web page - reminds me I should probably keep it clean. But before I do - I want to tell you about what just happened to me in the bathroom. I'm at work and I was standing at the trough when I noticed that one of the piss stains looked exactly like a praying Buddhist monk. How amazing is that? Shaven head bowed, string of beads hanging around his neck, hands clasped in front in the traditional attitude of prayer. I was taken aback, I really was. It's a clear sign, though I have yet to work out what it portends to. I haven't said this to anyone because I'm worried about people's reaction to the news. Like being told someone just vomited an image of Jesus outside the building. How are you supposed to take news like that?

Phone stopped working yesterday and, of course, ADSL with it. Took about 15 minutes on the mobile to Telstra to get someone out to fix it, which isn't bad. No warning - just no dial tone. Guy came this morning to fix it - I remember speaking to this guy before. Fixed inside half an hour - not bad - except the guy admitted to me that someone at the exchange had pulled out the phone line. He blamed a contractor - did he expect me to sympathise with him?

I got caught talking to myself in the car this morning. Has that ever happened to you? I was sitting at a set of traffic lights yakking to myself with the window down when I spied a pedestrian, crossing in front of me. I did the only dignified thing I could do and pretended to be speaking on a handsfree mobile.
"Yeah, er, OK I'll call you back when I get there, bye!"
The worst thing was, and this is the thing that confirms how tenuous my grip on reality is, I was having an imaginary argument with myself, and I was losing.

A friend of mine has a nickname 'Parker-Donovan,' as his name is Parker and he has a remarkable resemblence to Jason Donovan. Post Neighbours Jason, sans hair. From this we extrapolated a euphemism, 'park a donovan,' as in, "excuse me while I park a donovan." It's a euphemism waiting for a definition, ready and waiting.

Recently I've been watching 'Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn' on the Comedy Channel. I find it very amusing as long as I don't take anything that is said seriously, which as a rule I don't. It is about time there was a bit of a push back from Political Correctness. Anywho, I'm looking on the web for references to Colin Quinn and there doesn't seem to be any middle ground on people's opinions about him. People either think he is the funniest thing since, well, not sliced bread, but something really funny, anyways, or the other half who think he is the unfunniest thing since, well you get the picture. One half reckon the other half don't 'get' him and the second half reckon there's nothing to get.
The above paragraph is one of the slackest, most obscure sentences I have ever written. But at least this blog is actually written instead of a cut and paste of newspaper articles. That's something, isn't it?