Someone just said to me that since I seem to think I can sing, why didn't I audition to go on "Australian Idol?" I'll level with you - I regard the aforementioned program as one of the signs of the imminent collapse of civilisation, akin to having the position of Caesar auctioned off by the Pretorian Guard. Thin end of the wedge. I hear the sound of drumming hooves and I am convinced that it is the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Sign of worse things to come. I wouldn't be surprised if I read in the paper tomorrow that the Whore of Babylon riding a nine-headed griffon appeared and was declared the winner of Australian Idol, or if it is revealed that the real Australian Idol is a golden calf. Milestone on the road to hell. Sorry to get all biblical on you there but I really wanted to get my point across. Anyway, if I was going to audition for any TV show it would be (drumroll) "Australian IDLE!" Geddit?

Laugh? I nearly did.