Friday, June 25, 2004

Another flying post here. Man, I am so close to going solo, I can almost taste it.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

One banana, two banana, three banana, four
Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more
Over hill and highway the Banana Buggies go
Comin' on to bring you the Banana Splits Show

Makin' up a mess of fun
Makin' up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone


Four banana, three banana, two banana, one
All bananas playing in the bright warm sun
Flippin' like a pancake, poppin' like a cork
Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper and Snork

Two Banana, four banana, one banana, three
Swingin' like a bunch of monkeys hangin' from a tree
Hey there everybody, won't you come along and see
How much like banana splits everyone can be

Makin' up a mess of fun
Makin' up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone

Friday, June 18, 2004

A new neat flash. Hold the mouse over the guys face and watch what happens.

Courtesy of Rory.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

I don't care what anyone says - I reckon these things look hot. I have a soft spot for Boeing 737s.

Courtesy of

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Firstly - a short disclaimer. If there are small children in the room or persons with a weak disposition, please send them out of the room now. The following post is about home surgery. Nor am I recommmending anyone out there perform this or any other type of surgery on themselves, despite the fact that this blog is written as a how to guide.

Over the last week or so there has been a small growth in my armpit. I started calling him Eric. I showed some work colleagues the growth and the consensus was it was a skin tag and if it was causing me bother I should get it removed. The next suggestion was that I should do it myself rather than pay those outrageous prices charged by professional medical technicians. I mean, how hard can surgery be, right? Actually, now I think back on it, it wasn't really a suggestion, more of a dare. Whatever, I'm game.

Here is a picture of the offending piece of flesh. Pretty small, I think you'll agree. Apparently doctors don't like removing them. I don't know why. Probably a pretty good reason. That won't stop me, though.

If you're doing this at home, firstly make sure you have an ice cream in the fridge or a chocolate bar or something. The reason why will become apparent soon. Wash the effected area thoroughly with anti-bacterial soap. Then prepare your surgical supplies shown above. The primary surgical instrument I selected to perform the operation was a pair of nail clippers, which I boiled for about ten minutes before beginning. In retrospect I should have selected a pair of SHARP nail clippers.

Next, position the nail clippers with the skin tag inside its jaws, then squeeze like buggery. At this point a small, plaintive cry may escape your lips. This is normal. Then tug, squeeze, twist and wiggle the nail clippers. Crying for your "mummy" is also natural at this point but whatever you do, don't give up. You definitely won't have the stomach to try this twice in quick succession. It stings like an absolute, cast iron bitch. You know that real ouchy sting that makes your toes clench and your eyes go all funny? One of them.

Then Eric and I parted company.

Then the blood appears as a tiny dot. Then a blob. Then a trickle. You may be concerned that you are bleeding to death at this point. You may well be, but don't panic, just wipe with antiseptic cream and plaster a piece of gauze or cotton wool or whatever you have handy to soak up the blood.

Remember that ice cream or chocolate bar? Now is the right time for it. Eat it, and praise your forethought.

I examined Eric, briefly, we said our last goodbyes, then I chucked him in the bin. Serve the little bastard right.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

New flying post. This flying lark is starting to get difficult. Please send me your messages of good will and encouragement before I buy some concrete overshoes.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

I've replaced my old camera with a new one. The old one must have copped a knock or something and although it still works, it's definitely on its last legs. I got a brand spanking new Kodak DX6490. Although it has such features as *insert marketing gibberish here* the best thing it has is a 10x optical zoom lens built in.

Now how cool is that? This is the rotunda in Yeo Park (where was he stabbed? right in the rotunda! that's painful.) I checked it to see why it was built, thinking it was to commemorate some war or sporting hero or new city or all those from the Sudbury area who so gallantly gave their lives to keep China British or something. I can proudly tell you that the Yeo Park Rotunda is dedicated to those local citizens who raised the funds to build the rotunda. In other words, it's dedicated to itself. Whoopee.

Swearing gets the sack

I've instituted a swear jar at work - it seems I'm ahead of my time.

"TROOPERS and sailors may be famous for four-letter words, but not even the defence force could cope with the cussing of one 45-year-old man.
Peter Anthony Caughley was too foul-mouthed - even for the army.
Last year the information technology supplier was summarily sacked for his bad language.
Calling his supervisor a "f---ing slut" and a "f---ing bitch", finally proved too much. According to the army, Mr Caughley called his manager "she who must be obeyed" and "the old dragon". Commissioner David Hoffman heard Mr Caughley also referred to an untrained temporary staff member as a "drop kick"."

He knows his Rumpole, anyway. Firstly, he wasn't even a soldier. Secondly, it seems not so much that he swore, despite the sensational headline, but that he used a term of abuse towards a supervisor. How anyone could expect to swear AT their boss and get away with it is beyond me. And there's a reminder to anyone who isn't aware that 'drop kick and punt' is rhyming slang.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Jumbo jet called into fire wars

"A TRANSFORMED Boeing 747 jumbo jet could soon become Australia's latest weapon in the battle against bushfires. The converted 747 can carry 100,000 litres of water to a fire. The Evergreen Supertanker is loaded with a staggering 100,000 litres of water or fire retardant and can drop its load at high pressure, the speed of falling rain, or at separate intervals. It is capable of dumping more than 10 times the water carried by the Erickson Air Crane, Elvis, which has successfully fought fires in Australia since 1998."

A good idea, get a surplus 747 (apparently you can pick old ones up pretty cheap,) kit it out as a tanker and fight fires with it. The comparison with Elvis is a little disingenuous as the 747 would have to fly back to an international size airport like Kingsford-Smith before it could replenish its water tanks, whereas Elvis just needs to hover over a convenient lake, dam, river or pool. Subsequently the turnaround time would be a lot less. There are also all sorts of problems flying 747s next to helicopters and Cessnas in class G airspace as well, but let's not even start with that.

"But CSIRO research leader Jim Gould played down the significance of the Supertanker, claiming aerial firefighting would only be effective with the support of ground crews. "It won't stop the fire, I can tell you that right now," Mr Gould said. "I don't care how big the aircraft is ... any type of aerial suppression really needs to be supported by ground people."

Well no one said it wouldn't be, Mr Gould. You're telling us that dumping 100,000 litres of fire retardant isn't going to at least help? Why is this guy such a wet blanket? What's he afraid of? That the tough kids are gonna squirt water at him?

What happened to the boffins of this country? They used to be can-do type guys and gals. They invented the hills hoist, the owen gun, the victa mower, the didgeridoo, the wine cask, the fridge, the diff, kiwi boot polish, the boomerang, the record changer, the ute, latex gloves, vegemite and the bloody photocopier, all of which put together spell a ripper weekend!

Now where is the research telling me that eating pies makes you sexy?!?!?!