Sunday, February 27, 2005

Thanks to Complete Bastard for the following link:

and thanks to my gorgeous girlfriend Kirrily for writing this post.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Ever google yourself? That is, put your own name in google to find out about the other people in the world who have the same name as you? It can be quite enlightening.

Like Chris Parkes, the french horn player.

Or Chris Parkes, the theoretical physicist and mountain climber.

Or even Chris Parkes, the holistic Reiki healer.

Check out Chris Parkes, a handy tennis player at the University of Bath.

Dinner party? Why not consider Butler of the Year Chris Parkes.

Chris Parkes, man of many talents, engineer, logistics recruiter, dental technician, Secretary for Crystal Palace Football Club. His fingers in many pies, from raising money for cancer to running a gay discussion group.

If you are named Chris Parkes, feel free to drop me a line. If you're not, then don't you feel left out? Why not change your name to Chris Parkes and be one of the beautiful people.

Actually, on the whole, Chris Parkes is not a particularly beautiful person, I have yet to run across Chris Parkes the international fashion model, but we are spectacularly talented. See? We have depth.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Here's something we've always dreamed about but wondered "where to begin?"

A do it yourself guide to destroying the Earth.

Coop has quite rightly pointed out that he sent this link to me.

So thank you, Coop.

Saturday, February 12, 2005 I've never read a more one-sided, pointed, skewed, distorted, biased perverted load of propaganda in my life. They are clearly attempting to win the Miles Franklin fiction award. I'm totally sympathetic to a poor woman with a mental disorder, but when someone claims to be an illegal alien and skips town before the cops show up, isn't that a pretty good reason to suspect that the person, is, indeed, an illegal alien?

Fact; the Queensland state government authorities failed to properly recognise and diagnose a person with a severe mental illness.

Fact; They had this person in their care for six months and declared her mentally fit, then handed her over to DIMIA as an illegal immigrant.

Fact; The German government then failed to identify one of their own citizens.

These three facts are entirely glossed over in...oh, forget it. Why do I ever get surprised at the twaddle left-wing Australian journalists continue to crank out?

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Apparently I'm not the only one who struggles with social awkwardness at the chemist. A friend of mine recently had surgery to remove some skin cancers. After the doctor was done torturing and dissecting parts of his body he was given a prescription and told to toddle off down the chemist for some sort of unguent to aid the healing process. So off to chemist number one he goes.

Chemist number one doesn't have the specific balm although they might be able to get it in by Monday. Thanks but no thanks. I need this particular medical salve urgently he replies.

Chemist number two has the requisite tincture and at a cheaper price. This is good my friend says because I need to use quite a lot of it. Do you indeed says Chemist#2.

Home again and slather the stinking emollient over the gaping holes in his skin where once moles stood proudly. The medicated liniment comes portioned in tiny sachets and the first one is only half used. What to do. This embrocation is quite expensive and he does not want to waste any. I shall call my mother he says as mothers usually have the good oil on these topics. Read me the instructions says my friends mother to my friend. OK he says this cream is used to treat genital and anal warts mum I will call you back later.

My friend now rings Chemist No.2 and asks his advice on the ointment he bought earlier. Chemist numero duo explains that he can wrap the packet in glad wrap and keep it in the fridge until he is ready to apply it again. My friend goes to great lengths to ask why he was prescribed it oh yes says the chemist I have had quite a few people prescribed this for skin cancers. Purely so that the chemist does not think my friend has genital or anal warts otherwise there is no way he could go back and face the chemist again.

This is true.