Most mornings around 5am I go for a short jog, over a mile or so. Jog is probably inaccurate, accelerated shuffle is closer to the mark. I've just come back from a brisk walk and I came back along a street I always return on when I'm on the return leg of my constitutional. I pass this house maybe four or five times a week, but it's always in near darkness. This evening I passed it and there is an entire nativity scene in the front yard. It must have been there for a week or two at least and it's the first time I've seen it. For a start the place is massive, a two-story Edwardian mansion and the front yard is enormous for this part of the city and there in the front yard is a half scale stable with Jesus, Mary, Joseph, shepherds, wisemen, sheep, angels, pigs, cows - the works. Surrounding the edifice are various other characters from the bible - Santa, elves, reindeer, snowmen, penguins...that's right, penguins. Did I not get that memo or something? Since when are plastic injection-moulded life-size comic penguins an essential part of a Christmas scene? Let's just ignore the fact for the moment that this locality hasn't seen snow since the last ice age some 12,000 years ago and think this thing through. Polar bears in a Santa scene I can understand but penguins only live in the SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE while Santa lives at the NORTH POLE!! It's illogical, see?

I need to sit down now until the throbbing in my temple subsides.