I've just come back from the hospital where I had the best cheese sandwich, cup of tea and banana in my life. The secret of the perfect cheese sandwich, cup of tea and banana is to fast for 16 hours, get 100 micrograms of fentanyl and 5 milligrams of midazolam injected directly into your bloodsteam, then get a stranger to slide a video camera down your gullet into your stomach and poke around a bit. Sleep for an hour and I guarantee when you wake up you will eat the best cheese sandwich, cup of tea and banana you ever had in your life.

Right now I'm listening to Bach's Brandenburg concertos before the buzz wears off. I should do this more often. The only downside is that while they were poking around with the camera they were injecting air into my stomach so they had a good view. Consequently I am burping and farting frequently. As a bloke, I can't really see that as much of a downside.