Nobody likes them, they look identical to the real thing, they sit innocuously on supermarket shelves waiting for people to buy them, lug them home, take one bite into them and throw them away. I'm talking about that scourge of fruit and veg - the floury apple. Nobody likes them, so why do supermarkets insist on selling the bastards? Every time I buy apples I feel like I'm flipping a coin, because 50/50 the apple will be crap/crisp. I'm stuck with a dilemma, do I buy one apple in case they're crap and I don't have to throw them out, or do I buy half a dozen in case they are fresh and tasty? Is it that much trouble for the fruit and veg man to throw the old buggers out and whack in some fresh ones? I would have thought apples were popular enough items to allow a high enough turn over, but apparently not. I hate gambling with fruit. You can only tell if the apple is floury by taking a big bite out of one, which is generally frowned upon in the actual store.

And furthermore - why does every bottle and jar you buy nowadays have 'refrigerate after opening' on it? Is mustard going to go rancid if you leave it out overnight? Will tomato sauce develop a nasty skin of fungus around the lip? Will italian salad dressing busily ferment a seething culture of salmonella if it isn't kept at or near freezing? I have a bottle of vinegar that recommends refrigeration. You know they're having a laugh when vegemite says to pop it in the fridge - no self-respecting bacteria would touch it.