The supermarket - it's existence is cause for celebration. You might not realise it, having never grown up without one, but if you came from Soviet Russia, or 12th Century France, you would consider them a marvel of the modern age. Truly. How long have supermarkets been around? Since the 1930's, that's how long. The aeroplane is an older invention than the supermarket. So, in the scheme of things, hardly a blink of an eye.

They are the embodiment of capitalism, the high church of consumerism. They are also a constant source of befuddlement to me. Go to the toothpaste aisle and see me goggling at the seemingly unlimited variety of mint-scented salt-and-water-in-a-tube, wondering if it's all really necessary. Choice is great, but wouldn't, say, three different types suffice? I know, I know, that's pinko-commie-bastard talk.

Special. Supermarket speak for 'we bought too many of these, so we're trying to shift them by temporarily dropping the price.' No argument with me there. I do have a problem with putting the price down on the one item I an shopping for, and then selling out of the damn things. Double points if there is no alternative 'non-special' for me to buy instead.

12 items or less. Why am I the only person in the universe who abides by this simple rule? Am I the only person who can count to 12? Probably.

There's more to checkout etiquette. You have three items. How do you pay for these three items? With three different methods or payment, of course. A cheque for one, a credit card for another, and a different debit card for the last. You think I'm making that one up.

But yeah. Specials. I have a choice between being able to buy what I want at a normal price, and not being able to buy what I want at a discount. Great. Now that's freedom of choice.