I exercised my democratic right yesterday and voted. Lot's of people say that one vote can't make a difference - and when you live in as safe a Labor seat as Grayndler, they're right. I could have voted for Mickey Mouse ten times over and not made a difference.

The thing that irritated me about the Labor party this election was that their how-to-vote card suggested I give a preference to the Socialist Alliance and the Liberal party above the Democrats and the Greens. What kind of drugs are they on that makes them think I actually want to see the Communist Party member elected?

Yes, you say, but the Cold War is over. The Commun...err Socialist Alliance are lovable, cuddly freedom fighters who only care about your best interests. And just because the Second World War is over do you think I'd be voting for the Nazi Party?

Nyet, Kamerad.