I'm as big a fan of Jennifer Hawkins as the next bloke, but will the media quit calling her 'our Jen?' She's not 'our Jen,' she's not anybody's bloody Jen except her own.

But if she is 'our Jen,' when do I get my bit? I'm not asking for much, just an ankle or belly button will do me, I'm not greedy. Perhaps we have her on a time-share arrangement. If so, please email me with my allotted timeslot, so I can rearrange my diary.

Perhaps when News Limited calls her 'our Jen,' they really mean 'their Jen' and hands off, ugly. If so, why was I not invited to tender a bid?