I want to tell you about a sport played around Australia. It's an unusual sport in that there are a number of participants, none of whom are aware of the existence of any of the other players. Only one player knows when the game starts and only one player knows when the game ends and who the winner is. No scores are kept. The game goes on as long as it takes to achieve a result. It's an indoor game and at any one time there are hundreds, if not thousands of games going on in pubs and clubs and public toilets. I refer, of course, to urinal hockey.

The game begins when the first participant chucks his cigarette into the trough. He leaves. The next player attempts to wash the butt down the drain, as does the next player, and so on until the butt disappears. No prizes are awarded. No judges are required.

Now there's a game that should have been included in the olympics. Beats synchronised swimming anyday.