Apparently, I've just won the "GLOBAL EMAIL LOTTERY BALLOT." Bugger me, I don't even remember entering. Fortunately "ROGER VESTALL ,GLOBAL-AFRO Zonal Co-ordinator" emailed me on my ilikeigiveafuck.com email address. How appropriate. I won "due to the mix up of number" and scored "total sum of US$1,000,000.00 (One Million United States Dollars) in cheque." Woo-hoo! I don't even remember entering but it turns out I was "selected randomly from World Wide Web site through computer draw system." That explains it. I'm not really supposed to tell, this is "part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some unscurpulous elements." Like the unscurpulous elements in Nigeria who sent me the email. Scumbags.